do you ever worry that some of the images your brain dredges up sans context -- the connections you make to something you didn't even know that you remembered, the accidental memories you spontaneously relive -- are signs your brain's actually just misfiring? That that moment of nostalgic clarity is really the feeling of a synapse sparking out?
Being clobbered by the vivid sense-memory of standing in the lobby of the Audian Theatre in Pullman, WA, just after having seen Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring is cell death. Instantly being thrust back into Calculus class, Ms Wilsey's perfume muddling with the burning of the overhead projector's bulb and the sun reflecting off that desk in the corner that no one ever sat in, is just one more neuron's flash of extinction.
Are those split-second flares a cell's good-bye?
27.3.12
I discovered this morning that I have a mole on the back of my upper thigh. I've never seen it before.
After convincing myself that it wasn't a tick, it struck me that anyone who's ever seen me naked has most likely seen it. For 1/8th of a square inch, someone else knows my body better than I do.
There should be a word for that feeling.
18.3.12
8 Auspicious Symbols
I challenged myself this week to come up with my own "auspicious symbols", based on an idea sparked by this Happiness Project post. This is harder than I would have thought. Every time I think I have my list solidified, I start picking at it and feel the need to rejigger it to include something mortally important.
I think I finally have them, though. This list will always be in flux, to be fair, but this list is what I've held to for over 24 hours. that's longer than I hold to most diets and most resolutions. It's something.
1. Octopus
Flexibility. Intelligence. The ability to be camouflage yourself no matter what your situation. I find the octopus to be aesthetically beautiful, but also a perfect symbol for many aspects of life.
2. Teasel
Freedom and being "wild" (there's history here). Resilience. The beauty in undesirable things.
Stuttering. Eating disorders. Passion uncontained.
4. Snaffle bit
Horses and the freedom of riding. The things that hold you back.
5. Bread
Patience. Warmth. Home.
6. Bloody knees
Childhood. Making mistakes. Pushing limits and coming out more interesting for it.
7. Ampersand
Possibility. Continuity. The infinite malleability of ideas.
8. Microscope
Remembering the beauty hidden in the everyday. Discovery. Focus -- both in a punny "must focus in order to see anything" sense and in the feeling of focused zen you get when you're engrossed in working at a microscope.
All photos from Pinterest
I think I finally have them, though. This list will always be in flux, to be fair, but this list is what I've held to for over 24 hours. that's longer than I hold to most diets and most resolutions. It's something.
1. Octopus
Flexibility. Intelligence. The ability to be camouflage yourself no matter what your situation. I find the octopus to be aesthetically beautiful, but also a perfect symbol for many aspects of life.
2. Teasel
Freedom and being "wild" (there's history here). Resilience. The beauty in undesirable things.
3. Open mouth
Stuttering. Eating disorders. Passion uncontained.
4. Snaffle bit
Horses and the freedom of riding. The things that hold you back.
5. Bread
Patience. Warmth. Home.
6. Bloody knees
Childhood. Making mistakes. Pushing limits and coming out more interesting for it.
7. Ampersand
Possibility. Continuity. The infinite malleability of ideas.
8. Microscope
Remembering the beauty hidden in the everyday. Discovery. Focus -- both in a punny "must focus in order to see anything" sense and in the feeling of focused zen you get when you're engrossed in working at a microscope.
All photos from Pinterest
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